Contract (from the Inbox)

I am very happy to inform you that I have had feelings for
you since Tuesday, the 10th of March 2007. With
reference to the meeting held between us on the 7th of
January 2008 at 1500 hours outside Georgette's house, I would like to present
myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of
three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.

Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous
on-the-relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up
to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment
would initially be shared equally between us. Later,
based on your performance, I might take up a larger
share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded
enough, to be taken care of on your expense account.

Unless otherwise stated, the normal meeting/communication
times shall be Monday to Friday and the normal hours are:-

* Monday to Friday - Evening 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.
* Any time Saturday or Sunday as the need arises

I may at my sole discretion vary or amend the said
meeting/communication hours or days.

During the relationship hereunder you shall not either directly or indirectly
be permitted to be engaged in any other relationship unless specifically
authorised in writing.

You shall declare immediately to me by phone fax, or e-mail if you
are offered or recieve a benefit, gift, award, or prize from a male third party,
where the monetary value of such gift is in excess of Ksh 500 or if the
aforementioned gift can be assigned any emotional value.

Your appearance should at all times project a pleasing image

If you accept the contract on the terms and conditions specified within,
kindly send a blank e-mail to accept.rkunga@gmail.com.

In the event I do not hear from you within a period of fourteen (14) days,
I shall infer that you do not wish to accept my offer in which event
the aforementioned offer shall lapse.

Please do not hesitate to contact the undersigned for further
information or clarification

Thanking you in anticipation.