Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Bad Day

I had a really really bad day today, bad enough for me to, like a good Christian, seek help from the The Chairman of the worlds largest multinational, the Catholic Church.

The Catholic church has grown from strength to strength since its humble beginnings as Yahweh & Son, plying its trade in the little town of Bethlehem.

The brutal murder of the Chairmans son in 33 AD, a tragedy that doubled as effectively, the worlds greatest IPO, set in motion the creation of a more formal organization.

Today, from its global headquarters, the Vatican, the Church attends to the needs of its millions of shareholders and other clients. Its largest single shareholder is the Trinity group, a small private equity firm comprising of the Chairman, his son and Holy Spirit Support Services Ltd, a powerful, little seen but often felt silent partner.

The Chairman and by extension, the Trinity group, has a majority shareholding in many other similar churches. Although the other churches have similar objectives, there is no conflict of interest arising from this cross-ownership.

The church is headed by the Chairman, who leads the Board of Directors , commonly referred to as the "College of Cardinals". The Board elects one of its own as the CEO. The current CEO, Pope Benedict XVI, was elected on 19 April 2005.

The church has a wonderfully flat organizational structure. The Chairman and the Trinity Group lead the church, The CEO, whose rarely used full title is "His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI, Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman province, Sovereign of the State of the Vatican City, Servant of the Servants of God." follows. Bishops, who are seen as the modern day equivalents of a group of the chairmans sons closest advisors, the apostles, feature prominently in the churches hierarchy.

The structure is summarized below

The chairman is actively involved in the day to day operation of the church. The word, "Miracle" ,His name for the one-on-one interaction with shareholders he occasionally engages in, has been adopted in popular culture, often meaning an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers ascribed to a supernatural cause.

The church has branches in every corner of the world and given the way today went, one of those branches which will be seeing alot more of me pretty soon.

Anyway, I have a conference call with the Trinity Group regarding my Monday blues on hold while I write this, so I'll stop for now and get right back to it.

I really need one of them miracle things right about now.

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