Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Weaves.



We just love to hate them don’t we? I am in actual fact a founding member of the MAWE* coalition. A think-tank dedicated to rid the world of the weave.
(*Men Against Weaves Everywhere)

A “weave”, according to the Merriam Webster dictionary, is defined as :-

Weave : verb \ˈwēv\

  1. to form (cloth) by interlacing strands (as of yarn);specifically : to make (cloth) on a loom by interlacing warp and filling threads
  2.  to interlace (as threads) into cloth : to make (as a basket) by intertwining

Hmm, it isn’t even in the dictionary (10 points to MAWE)

I had to look elsewhere for a more definitive definition, “weave” is defined by the world renowned UrbanDictionary.com as :-


A form of hair extension often used by black women and celebrities.
It's woven, or glued, into the hair from the track. If done right, it comes out cute. It may even look real, if it’s done real good.


Now, women do all sorts of things to look good. A weave is just one of them so why all the hate?

I come from accounting background, so for me, as a professional, as long as you have the receipt, it’s your hair.

I don’t even have a problem with the concept that its “fake”, I’m routinely bewitched by girls wearing contacts all the time, even when I know that there’s no way in hell an African chick has gray eyes.

Weaves have even been proven to save lives!

In fact, millions of women and girls in Kenya routinely add thin strands of black, brown, occasionally red and sometimes luminous green plastic to their hair all the time (they call them braids), but you never hear anyone hate on a chicks braids, that is of course, when they are freshly done, occasionally, some women will keep braids in longer that they should, THEN we have a problem.

Therein lies the root of the problem I have with weaves,

I M P L E M E N T A T I O N

Most weaves are just done badly, from Day 1 it just looks off.

There’s a noticeable bump, or the thing is a different colour from the rest of the chicks hair, or the hair moves independently from the head it’s on, I really could go on for ages.

I choose to look at any enhancement a chick does to look hot as being similar to special effects in a movie.

The movie industry depends on a phenomenon they call “willing suspension of disbelief” to introduce special effects into movies, your mind on some level has to accept the special effects as being real for you to enjoy the movie.

Weaves, when they are done as badly as they are done in Kenya are like bad special effects, they ruin the movie.

So ladies, if you’re not willing or able to spend the thousands of shillings needed to get a weave like Tyra’s…

JUST  DON’T  DO  IT

7 comments:

Bubbly said...

Interesting post. Away with WEAVES! :-)

Chiira Maina said...

I would not want to be the kill-joy here but I think that any weave, whether done well or badly, is a simple no-no. Must be all that shiny effect that *ALL* weaves radiate. And if they are old, they look like an old enamel mug.

Mwirigi said...

Actually, @ByteBandit blames them for global warming ~ http://twitter.com/bytebandit/statuses/18266947028254720

bankelele said...

Like hung-elections corruption potholes changaa funga, #MAWE may have to compromise & accept a grand-collision #justsayin

kelitu said...

I love a good weave, they are my new found love.

I do agree they need to be installed well to ensure they don't look like a bird's nest.

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